Hello 2019

Welcome 2019!

Knock, knock.

“Who’s there?”

“Oh, hello 2019!”  “Welcome!”

“Yeah, yeah, I do want to make you the best year yet.  Oh, you got an idea for me?”

“What’s that you say?  If I take a step back to take a look at the big picture, you could look even brighter?”

“What?”  “Making a plan and a strategy could be helpful?”

“Yeah, it’s not so easy when I have to do it all my myself.”

“I hear you 2019.  And you know?  You are right.  It would be super sweet, if there were only someone to help me with deciding things like who I’m going to connect with and what I want to say.”

“2019, you are looking…good, have you lost weight?”

“I know, I know…flattery doesn’t work with you.  And honestly, it only works with me…sometimes.”

“What ALWAYS works is when I take the time to get grounded and I set intentions. That’s when I can let my inner wisdom…rip!”

“And that’s when, the magic happens.”

Take a deep breath.

If you are starting 2019 with alien eyes and it would be nice to have a sounding board and someone to help you let your inner wisdom rip.  Beeline can help.  Together…we got this.

Email me today at info@shellysweeney.com  www.beelinecoaching.com

Connect and Release

A few years back, my husband and I took a fly fishing class.  We donned those fashionable khaki and black waders and headed into the river.  

The instructor explained the proper knot techniques.  We were to tie on the leader, then the tippet and finally the impossibly small fly.  The idea was to tie a sufficient knot so if you were lucky enough to get a strike, the fish wouldn’t strip the fly and run.  

I stood in the river for hours casting the tiny fly.  I was mesmerized as it landed and floated down stream.  

Suddenly, I felt a slight tug.  The instructors words went through my mind, 

“Pull up!”

I did and soon I was reeling in my first catch.  

The silvery trout splashed about. What a thrill!  I quivered with excitement and accomplishment!  I had actually followed the steps and had caught a fish!  

We “kissed it” and it swam merrily away.

As I continued fishing, something was different.  I stood there waiting. Stiffly, I watched the little fly float.  Each time I pulled the line back in, I felt a sinking feeling.  I was disappointed, and I started thinking 

“ Come on fish!?  Where are you?  Why don’t you bite?  I’m bored.”

I doubled down…. “Come on fish I urged”… and still, nothing.  

I had done everything right, the fly, the cast, the waiting, holding the rod appropriately.

The instructor, noticing my angst, came over and told me something profound.  

He said, “Shelly, this is an experience, not a destination.”  

Slowly, I relaxed.  I would like to say I caught loads of fish; but that wasn’t true.  Instead, I noticed the magnificent trees, the textured gray clouds and the swooping swallows.   I began to enjoy the experience.

That made the whole day beautiful.

This reminds me of marketing.  We cast our fly presenting it in a way to attract our clientele.  We methodically develop our business offerings, tailoring them to what we believe will serve our client’s needs.  

We place the information in areas we be believe they hang out.  And sometimes, they accept our offering.  Sometimes, they don’t.

Then we have a choice.  Do we accept this as “rejection?”  Do we shyly tell ourselves:

“We don’t deserve business?”  

Do we cast our ideas out again and again, ignoring the scenery?  Each time becoming more frustrated or more scared that maybe, just maybe what we have to offer, “No One needs?”  

Maybe we have the experience of growing our business to a point only to find we don’t know what to do next.  Then, we could wonder; “Is the river dried up?”

However the thinking goes, I have been there. 

For the last 27 years I have served companies in sales and marketing roles.  I have been responsible for direct customer communication and for the outcome of “making stuff happen.”  

Believe me, I have tried it all.  And I have told myself A LOT of stories.

If you would like to have a sounding board to uncover what is happening in your sales cycle, to tease apart your marketing efforts, unearth client communication plans or just plain get unstuck around what is stopping your efforts, Let’s talk.  

Beeline Coaching helps people in business drive successful strategies with grounded inner wisdom and create dynamic relationships with improved communication skills.

Marketing Plans  •  Business and Career Development  •  Big Picture Thinking  •  Interrelationship Communications Skills  •  Bridge-building  •  Relationship Development

I’ll help you nail it

How to Survive Blind Side Attacks

The Holidays are almost here.  And maybe you are filled with joy but… maybe there’s a twinge in the gut that says:
“Ugh, I gotta be with THOSE people” and as a friend recently muttered… “It’s trigger town.“

How do we survive time with other humans who know where our buttons are located and have them on speed dial?  How do we survive what we see as blind side “attacks”?

Whether it is in business or in life we are sometimes caught off guard by reactions we receive from others and our reactions to their reactions.  What if there was a way to handle all of this differently?

Marshall Rosenberg developed a dynamic system that gets to the heart of meaningful, honest connection: Non Violent Communications.  

Note: Just ‘cuz you learn this does not mean family members or business associates will be different. It means, we can be different.

How does it work?
Honestly, it isn’t a cinch.   However, when used in earnest, it makes for a different experience that I would categorize as “better”.

Vulnerability + Curiosity +Feelings +Needs + Request= Non Violent Communications. (NVC)

Click here to see Yoram Mosenzon describing more about NVC in his Youtube talk entitled: Vulnerable Honesty
Click here to learn how CEO Satya Nadella is using NVC to change the Microsoft culture

Two scenarios:

Your Mom says: “That outfit is too shabby for Thanksgiving dinner “

Your response without using NVC: “I picked this out special. You don’t understand fashion or me!”  “ You are always putting me down!”

With NVC: “Mom, I am feeling surprised and sad because I put a lot of thought into this outfit.  I picked it out because I feel very comfortable wearing it. On Thanksgiving I really have a need to be comfortable. I’d really want to wear it.  Would you be willing to help me understand what you dislike about it?”

A business acquaintance says: “Your presentation is a little off.”

Without NVC you may say (or only think): “What do you mean it was off?  It really seems you missed my point altogether.”

With NVC: “Hmm, I was feeling really happy about the presentation.  I spent a lot of time preparing it to answer the client’s questions.  I was really wanting support.  Would you be willing to help me go through it to see where it could better answer their questions?”

In these two scenarios NVC is overlaid, the receiver remains open, curious and vulnerable.

They express their feelings (how it felt to receive the feedback) followed by what their need or what the speaker wanted, needed or was trying to accomplish.

Finally, a request is made to further the conversation and to keep it going through keeping a sense of curiosity and openness.

You decide:  Which of the answers in these two scenarios could make you want to keep the conversation going?

NVC can allow a gateway to a different conversation and perhaps a new dynamic can begin.

Are you interested in learning more? Check out our Survive Blind Side Attacks Coaching Package and to schedule a time to chat.

Beeline Coaching helps people in business drive successful strategies with grounded inner wisdom and create dynamic relationships with improved communication skills. 

Marketing Plans  •  Business and Career Development  •  Big Picture Thinking  •  Interrelationship Communications Skills  •  Bridge-building  •  Relationship Development

I’ll help you nail all that sh*t.

Compromise the great mind changer

Thinking about values made me think also about compromise. Surely anyone who has ever lived and especially if you have experienced any long term relationship you have been subjected to compromise.

Even the child in the grocery cart and the parent wrangling to avoid candy and sugary cereal purchases must compromise.

Children can be the best negotiators of all. They know our buttons, our weaknesses and they probably know the whine to give-in quotient better than any parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle or caregiver.

A compromise is a way of life. It is a way out of a problem. It is a way to keep peace and it is one way to stay in a relationship. How do we decide what we are willing to compromise? And how do we decide what we are willing to accept as a compromise?

Compromise can be a change in the way we will accept a situation or accept the level we are willing to “get our way.” Let’s take the example of where to wish to go to dinner.

You and your significant other have decided to go out to dinner. Now you just need to decide the where, when, how’s, and how much. You both begin throwing out ideas.

You may want to save money. Therefore, your options are more cost conscious. While your partner may want something more fancy. You though out pizza, Thai, Chinese. He throws out the local five star restaurant, the fancy Italian place across the river.

Then you both have to stop, wait, consider and ask “What am I hearing?. It sounds like we want different things?” Oh man, then you need to communicate why you want what you want and listen to why they want what they want. Finally, you both have to come to some sort of compromise.

Your reasons will be completely valid. Your partner’s reasons will be completely valid. What do you do? How do you compromise?

It starts with what you want or what you “think” you want and the same for your partner. When you both position restaurants at the opposite ends of the cost spectrum, you must then decide after hearing each other’s best reasons why, whether you wish to push your reasons and how badly you want to push your agenda.

If it is a situation where both parties want what they want, that’s when it may prove to be more difficult.

If you are like my husband and I, typically we just talk it out. However it could turn into a quick argument.

It works like this. I say what I want and he says what he wants. It could get a little escalated and we just argue stuff out. This will typically happen if we are both passionate about the decision. It’s not a mean spirited argument. It’s a “I want this and this is why” and then it’s “he wants that and this is why.”

It seems to be a respectful yet spirited way to just work through differences quickly. It is not a personal attack.  It is a focus on the situation at hand, period. Then, we both narrow it down and finally one decides the other has a better idea or we come up with a THIRD idea and that, that is where compromise lives.

We both had entered with an idea and we both had to change our thoughts and finally a mutual decision was born.

Compromise, by it’s very definition is a place where both parties agree. And hopefully through being mindful and open (or a quick healthy argument) we can find compromise most often that everyone also feels good, accepting the compromise.

Conversational Questions:

What do you find difficult about compromise?

When did you feel  badly or really good about a compromise?

Writing Prompts:

“In the end…”

“Compromise looks/feel/sounds like”…

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